March #3, Pigeons

The graceless air rats called pigeons are the embarassing cousings from the Columbidae family. Nature confusingly prefers these animals to others by endowing them with the ability to fly and with a bonus feature of inextinctability.

My most heated pigeon dilemma occured in a tall building which had a residential unit on the top floor. Because the building was still in construction, this top floor residential unit was nothing but four walls of windows. The unfortunate pigeon found its way into the construction site but couldn't find its way out.

I attempted to frighten the pigeon out the door. It wanted to escape--as evidenced by multiple pigeons-shaped dust marks scattered about random windows--but had accepted the fact that it was trapped.

Because it wouldn't cooperate, it was my duty to slay the beast. I don't habitually kill things. Even detestable spiders find themselves led out of my house unharmed. (Unless I ever find those big brown fuzzy ones. Those I vengefully kill instantly even if it means using my bare hands or feet.)

The act was difficult. I had to recruit one of the office workers to help me. He would chase the pigeon towards me while I waited with a broomstick and adrenaline. The process continued for over an hour, and I believe the bird had a good understanding of the threat for at least the last 55 minutes. The broomstick finally made contact. It only took once. The lump on the cold cement floor was my answer to Nature's preference.